Part Three

An emblem with the letters J/B separated by a lightning bolt adorns his billowing cape, which is the lovely shade of bellybutton lint and that bald monkey's butt tannish color, which combined makes an almost smoky shade of dark gray. He trips right at the door and his toes make that sound where you think he's broken all of them and falls into his room out of Dunk's sight. Dunk lengthens his strides and pushes himself harder to catch up. But in his haste he develops cramps in his armpits. With both arms crossed, he continues in pursuit, rubbing his pits in circular motions. Reaching the door he stops too fast and falls on his face, right on the spot that Miss Ringfurdil just had her wet accident. With "yellow liquid" running off his nose, cheeks, and chin; he pushes himself off the infested floor and peeks around the corner into the room Hilbesenter fell in. He sees, much to his interest, two blurs of ninja acrobatic combat furies - Hilby is in full warfare with some other insane inmate. Sounds of car brakes and trains derailing pierce the room as the blurs fly around in abstract shapes and smash into each other frequently. The struggle is forsaken by the blue blur as it exits the room and dashes hastily down the hall. Dunk, petrified by the thing flying by him, erupts into a fit of gas. The fumes make their way back to the main room and there, promptly knock out four unsuspecting wardmates. After recovering from the fart-pisode, he enters the room. Having temporarily forgotten Hilbesenter's wearing his shirt by all the excitement, he asks, "Whose room is this?" Hilby, with very little breath left answers, "M-i-n-e," taking a breath in between each letter's sound. Dunk, trying to help, wipes the sweat off Hilbesenter's face. But because he had been rubbing his armpits, all his hands really do is leave the smell of P.U. all over his face. Embarrassed of what he's just done, Dunk quickly grabs a rag out of a nearby basket and rubs the underarm sweat off Hilby's face. Hilbesenter, instead of being grateful, cries out in horror of it all, and Dunk realizes it's not a rag, it's "drawers" and it's not a basket, it's a "dirty laundry hamper!" Giving up on being any help at all, he forsakes the idea and just asks, "And WHO WAS THAT?!" Hilby takes a careful breath - "That was Erin; she's been in this ward longer than any other resident," introduces the soiled cretin.

All the while, our two Doctors tremblingly await their doom in the makeshift lab of the psychotically demented and insidious Johnny Boom. He grins menacingly at their abject terror, then spins around, turning his back on them. Dr. Frizwal cocks his head to the side like a puppy and comments, "How exquisite!" i once possessed an overcoat of that rare hue - Marigold Gray." Murgatroyd, however, thinks it looks rather ugly and reminds her of an asthmatically deceased elephant. Oh well. Maybe she should get coke bottle glasses like the Professor sports. Suddenly, a plan begins to form in her mind. She leans over and whispers into Frizwal's ear. Johnny busies himself humming and mixing and exploding various colored chemicals in glass beakers (true to his name), maniacally laughing the whole time. Frizz reaches into his pocket and pulls out the bag of garlic, dumps a handful into his mouth and, chewing nervously, finishes them off. Murgie's eyes begin to water vehemently from the potent, overpowering smell. Johnny turns around, puts his nose in the air and sniffs delicately in all directions. The cage keys dangle from his belt, making noiseful clinking racket as he twists this way and that, attempting to decipher the strange odor. Just then, Murgie falls against the side of the steel entrapment, howling and hiccoughing violently. Boom is worried and slowly comes closer to the cage. She draws a small red package out of her purse and the delightfully pungent aroma of cinnamon fills the air. (now, cinnamon happens to be J.B.'s Kryptonite.) Johnny's eyes pop wide open and make a **Ding-ding!** sound as 2 tiny pictures of cinnamon candy appear in them. Murgie smiles innocently and offers him some. Boom unwilfully steps closer, magnetically drawn to the object of his affection. When he is a mere six inches from the iron bars, the Professor draws in a huge breath and expels it with all of his might into Boom's general face direction. Nothing happens. Then Johnny blinks twice and hits the ground with a **Plink Doink Doink.** Frizwal and Potkettle look at each other in sheer jubilance - their plan has succeeded!! Frizz yells "YAAAAAAAY!!!" and Murgie unfortunately joins Johnny on the floor. Hipocken just shrugs, grabs the keys from the belt loop and opens the cage door, taking his first wary step into freedom.

Back at the Asylum, Dunk puzzles over the sudden disappearance of the elusive and mysterious (and also rather stinky) Hilbesenter, then begins his search of the messy room for a secret exit. Brushing away some of the mess from one of the corners he finds... A TRAP DOOR!! But, still being a bit rattled, he re-enters the hallway, drawn to where he sees Erin eating vanilla pudding at one of the many sad little round chipped tables in the main room. He sits down with her cautiously and asks about the abnormal Hilbesenter. She goes on and on about how he's more psychotic than she is, but Mr. Rappingtin is too quick minded, even in his indifferentism, to buy such frivolous white lies. Finally, she queries, "Why do you ask about the weirdo?" He replies, with no hesitation, "He wearing my shirt!" with spite in his tone. He continues, "I found a secret trap door in the corner of his room..." Erin suddenly livens up and shouts, "I've been looking for that passageway for months! Show me!" So the two head off into the room and dive headfirst into the mess filled tunnel. Thankfully, this one is ten feet tall and they can walk upright in it. But just as they enter the Secret Way, Hilbesenter reaches the end and comes to the Underground Laboratory, where he finds Dr. Frizwal desperately trying to wake Murgatroyd. Hilbesenter leaps out into the light and says, "Hey! Hey! Hey!" The doctor looks behind him to see Hilby standing there with his legs spread wide like a cowboy. All this transpires just as Dunk asks Erin Girl how she met Hilby. "It was while he was being stupid," she tells him, but all he does is nod his head as he thinks to himself... would that be all the time? The thought came simultaneously, as Hilbesenter was just at that very moment showing the doctor how to use the giant spy computer in the hidden laboratory. Johnny regains consciousness and finds them pushing buttons like it was some kind of pinball machine. He hollers hysterically with building slowness like a stop motion picture, "Don't pu_s_h a_n_y m_o_r_e b_u_t__t__o__n__s!" He takes hold of the cage bars and pulls himself to his feet. In fear of which buttons they might have pushed, he walks menacingly toward them, glaring at them very closely with burning eyes. As he approaches the computer he sees two of the little green buttons right beside the big yellow one have been pushed and becomes displeased by the room's ambiance shouting, "You almost pushed the yellow button!! Get away from it!" The yelling was loud enough to wake the garlic knocked out Murgatroyd. Johnny rounds up the peculiar group and gets them going back the way the doctors came; to Mr. Rappingtin's place. They approach the 3 foot tall hallway and Johnny pushes one of the bricks in. The ceiling rumbles and then begins moving upwards with the sound of a giant stone rolling. It grinds to a halt at a leisurely ten feet tall and they start their exit from the Lab with the Boominator in the lead. Murgatroyd says to the strong smelling Frizwal, "If only we had found one of those buttons instead of just rushing in, we could have WALKED all this way!! But no, we had to crawl like cockroaches." Hilbesenter begins to snicker, "You crawled through this?!" Then he goes down on all fours crawling slowly in mockery in front of the 2 doctors, a joke he finds hilarious.